Do you ever go through spurts in life, doing something you enjoy and then just walking away from it for a bit?
Well, life happened. Thats about the jist of it. I walked away- but not completely. Summer with the kiddos was busy, then fall came. My parents arrived for the winter. They decided they would be snowbirds and get away from the Montana winters this year. It has been an amazingly enjoyable visit, albeit busy with the extra people in the house. Then my health started to go downhill. I kept having side pains and no one could figure out what was wrong. Test after test, and no answers. At least we were able to rule out the very scary stuff but I was still left in pain. For this mama, being unable to do the day to day tasks or even having to put my watercolor mulling on hold was maddening and upsetting.
I don’t often share personal stuff on social media. I hunker down and just get stuff figured out. But putting my business on hold, it sorta felt like I was a failure. I couldn’t face writing into words that I was unable to mull. My creativity dropped. I stepped away from art. Every now and then I posted, but I didn’t have the heart for it and then I lost my grandmother and the world around me fell to pieces.
I started off 2019 in what felt like limbo. Not sure where I would end up, but I knew that art was calling to me. I ignored it. Have you ever done that? Felt like in your heart you knew you wanted to do something but your mind was just like nope, not gonna happen. I let fear of everything get to me. Would I fail when I came back to art? Would people think I was a failure because I had stopped arting for so long?
upon my return, I was completely baffled by the outpour of love. People private messaging me to ask how I was doing. Happy mail arriving at my door. That glimmer of light started to burn off the darkness from within. I started creating YouTube Videos again. (So- if you’ve missed them here you can check all the videos out over there!) and I seemed to fall back into using art as my outlet. I just didn’t blog. I still wasn’t at that point yet.
But now….I’M BACK!
I’m considering April as my January. I’m going to start planning in my planner again. Creating art daily, even if its only a quick sketch, and the biggest thing of all- learning to say no. I can’t help others if i’m only working at 50% myself, so self care was also at the top of my list of weekly to dos.
My team of doctors finally figured out what’s been wrong with my side and now waiting on a couple more tests to get the full all clear on my health. As of right now, my hope is to get back to mulling in April (as soon as I have the OK from the physical therapist). I am beyond excited to get back to mulling, to creating and to feeling more myself again!
Thank you all for your patience and love! Without you my journey would be dull and boring. Words can’t seem to express my gratitude enough…
Mad Loves XOX-